tiré de AskMen.com
Change can modify, alter, amend, even shatter, but it always transforms. Few of us like it and even fewer thrive on it. There may have been a time some decades ago when a man was forced to confront changes by the mere handful. Today, however, he may face dozens.
Some common examples of change include:
* Moving away from a place you’ve called home.
* Changing careers.
* Ending a meaningful relationship.
* Dealing with physical changes, such as weight gain, hair loss, injuries, and more.
Here we’re presenting four steps to help you learn to confront change, because the sooner you learn how to do it, the more successful you will be in your professional and personal life.
step 1
Accept the change
Yes, acceptance is typically the last phase of a difficult process, not the first, but this is a cornerstone when you must confront change. Defiance or denial only delays the inevitable. The issue is, of course, how you go about reaching that acceptance.
Chiefly, don't try to soften the potentially tremendous personal impact of this change by carrying over too many elements from the phase you are leaving. By the same token, you should maintain some of the same routines and make a point to see the people whom you are used to seeing. Keep in mind that while you confront change and undo some old habits, you don’t have to abandon everything you once knew.
In short, regard this acceptance as a transitional process that will ebb and flow organically so long as you allow it to do so.
step 2
Set up and incorporate a stress management plan
It is universally understood that change is thorny and brings with it a host of difficulties. You know that it’s stressful when you confront change, so take a decidedly proactive approach and set aside some time to develop tactics for dealing with it before it arrives.
Stress management plans usually begin with a look at how you have typically coped with stress in the past, and the answers might alarm you. Harmful coping mechanisms include self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, smoking, over-sleeping, or putting things off as long as possible. These are all disastrous stopgap measures that only compound the stress that will slam you at a later time.
When you’re devising a stress management plan to confront change, you might set aside time to learn relaxation techniques or get more physical activity and shift toward a more healthy diet. Really, the better you feel overall, the lesser the impact that stress will have.
step 3
Identify the positives
This may require some creative interpretation or a dose of positive thinking, but look around for some things that, as a consequence of change, can be improvements over your current situation -- or at least regarded in that way. For example, losing your hair is undoubtedly a traumatic and depressing change to endure, but there are potential bright spots (besides the beaming reflection off the top of your head), such as shaving your head and doing away with hair products and visits to the barbershop. Then you can take some enjoyable, ceremonial steps toward those improvements, like buying a pair of clippers and a cool hat. Another example would be to take up gardening if you’re moving and your new place has a yard.
If necessary, look back to previous changes that you survived to further inspire you.
step 4
Start implementing the necessary changes
Since putting our advice on how to confront change into action, you’ve come to terms with the change by accepting it, put forth some plans to manage the inevitable stress you’ll endure, and sought out some positive things that may come out of this change. In short, you have reduced a major change into a less intimidating set of smaller changes.
At this point, you have nothing left to do but start implementing those changes. Don't just wait for the change to befall you; whether it’s paperwork, things to throw away, decisions to make or adaptations to absorb, dive into it. Don’t take the passive route that says, “I’ll deal with that when the time comes”; that route will make you vulnerable to heaps of stress and unhappiness later.
Keep in mind that change is a process that is rarely overcome in an instant. Time can be your ally in confronting change, but only if you allow it to be.
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